I think I’m pretty good at finding the humor in my cooking adventures.
(For the most part.)
And I’ve been pretty open about my issues with math.
But today’s recipe wins for pure math stupidity. (I mean, I completely messed up simple division.) It didn’t ruin the recipe… just the results.
And it caused a pretty good laugh around here.
Sandwich Rolls, adapted from food.com
2 pkgs active dry yeast
1 1/2 c water, (110-115 degrees), divided into 1/4 c and 1 1/4 c
1 T sugar, divided into 1/2 T and 1/2 T
2 T vegetable oil
1/2 T salt
4 -4 1/4 c bread flour
In a mixing bowl, dissolve the yeast in 1/4 cup warm water add 1/2 T sugar and then let stand about 5 minutes.
Add remaining water and sugar. Beat in oil, salt and 2 cups flour until smooth. Stir in enough flour (another 2+ cups) to form a soft dough. Turn onto a floured board. Knead until smooth and elastic for about 6-8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl turning once to grease the top. Cover and let rise 45 minutes.
Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured board, divide into 8 pieces. Shape into ovals. Place 2 inches apart on a greased baking sheets. With scissors cut a 1/4-inch slash across the top of each. Cover and let rise 20 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Bake for 13-18 minutes until golden brown. Remove to wire racks to cool.
When I found this recipe, it was originally set to make a ton of rolls. Food.com is kind enough, though, to have a calculator tool that can change the ingredient amounts based on the yield of results you’d like. I quickly had them halve the recipe for me.
The only issue with this tool, is that it does not affect the narrative part of the recipe at all. So, you need to go back and forth between having the correct amount (from the ingredients) to having to halve items (from the directions). It’s very confusing – especially if you’re corralling little boys at the same time.
(By the way, I completely fixed this in the above recipe – so no tough math for you all.)
Anyways, let’s just say I made it through the mixing and rising just fine – no mistakes. It was once I hit the dividing the dough into small loaves that my brain went out the window. I do not know what I was thinking, but I decided to divide the correct yield (8 loaves) in half – and only made 4 loaves.
4 large loaves… for sandwiches, they were a bit of an overkill.
At this point, all I could do was laugh… and brainstorm how to cut it to make it work. I ended up cutting the bread in half to make two long pieces and the cutting through the middle to make a top and bottom. (I hope that makes sense.) Crisis averted!
The best part: using the bread for some prime rib french dips a la Hubs.
And we used them later in the week for some pb&j for the boys. (And maybe us, too.) They held up well in those, too.
I’m just thankful my lack of numerical skills didn’t ruin this one – because we’d surely have been missing out.